


Shrinking Violets

by drowninginchamomiletea



Category: Persona 4
Genre: After I wrote the sad parts I felt like going and writing a chapter of Ikanaide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Damn I never wrote an angstier kanji, Except for the sad parts, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, I enjoyed writing this so much, I fucking DESPISE Naoto's Christmas Eve event in the game, It's horrible and feels like we're forcing shit on her and I hate it its not a fun time, Just pretend this is canon, Kanji's a sad boi, Mentioned chie/yukiko, Mentioned sad lonely rise, Mentioned souyo, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 07:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninginchamomiletea/pseuds/drowninginchamomiletea
Summary: Kanji has hanahaki for Naoto. You can probably guess what happens.TW for suicidal thoughts.





	Shrinking Violets

**Author's Note:**

> Ohh man let's do this let's put a second Kannao Hanahaki fic on AO3
> 
> Hey guys! I'm sorry if our Nooters seems a lil bit OOC in the texts but I figure, hey, she's pouring her feelings out into them, so she's gonna be a little mushier than usual.
> 
> ORIGINALLY POSTED 7/24/2017  
> EDIT 8/4/2017: I fixed the pacing in the Shadow scene and took out Yukiko's line that I hate so much!!  
> EDIT 8/8/2017: WOWWW I JUST FUCKING NOTICED THAT I WROTE THE DATES IN THE ORDER 10/19, 11/8, 11/1, 11/6, 10/28 I'M PROUDDDD anyways I fixed it soooo hahahahah I have SKILLS

"Oh,  _hell."_

Kanji stared in disbelief at the round purple flower in his hand.  _No._ No way in  _hell_ was this happening. 

 **The date was May 16, 2011,** and Tatsumi Kanji had Hanahaki Disease.

Here's how it all went down.

* * *

 **It was the thirty-first of July** before any of Kanji's newfound friends noticed his odd behavior. If he was totally honest with himself, it was a miracle no one had asked about it sooner.

He had decided to spend this particular Sunday afternoon with Kujikawa Rise, his classmate and teammate. The two had hit it off nicely, and Rise didn't want to spend the day fending off fans on the street or working at Marukyu. 

"Why do you cough so much?"

"Er—Whad'ya mean, I don—" He coughed, catching the small purple blossom before Rise saw it, then shoving his hand in his pocket. "—cough tha' much," he finished lamely.

"Oh, come  _on,_ you can tell me! I won't laugh, I promise. What is it, asthma? Summer allergies?" She paused before jokingly saying, "Hanahaki?" 

He couldn't help wincing when she said it. She gasped, then giggled.

"Ooooh, who is it!? Wait, it's not me, right?"

"No! Shaddup..."

"I know it's not Yukiko or Chie, 'cause you act fine around them and you're totally the type that gets all flustered when your crush is around, I bet." The twin-tailed girl wrapped her left arm round his right, and tapped her right index finger on her bottom lip as though she were thinking.

"Hmmm... Who could it be...?"

"'M not tellin'."

"Oh, if I have anything to say about it, I'll have my answer by the end of summer break!" She grinned deviously up at him.

"When Hell freezes over."

"Well then you better believe the Devil's got a cold snap coming!"

Kanji swore. Rise cackled gleefully.

* * *

 **It was the twenty-second of September.** In the days since the team had leaned that Naoto had gone missing, Kanji had felt as though there was a chip of dry ice in his shoulder. He was more irritable than he could remember ever being, and his coughing fits were worsening. 

He made a note to himself that he was infinitely indebted to Rise. Whenever he started hacking up a lung—er, a bouqet—she would divert people's attention or make an excuse for him, and shoot him a concerned glance as he ran out to the nearest bathroom. 

* * *

 **October third.** Finally,  _finally,_ Yu had said that he thought they were ready. Kanji was extremely ragged emotionally at this point, but he felt like Take-Mikazuchi was more powerful than ever. Indeed, when they arrived at the secret base Naoto's mind had created, he felt he could blast a Ziodyne right through the place if it meant saving him. He was about ready to pop with stress. 

Yu took one look at him and put him on the main infiltration team.

✻✻✻

When they reached the room where Naoto was, Kanji went bursting through the door. 

"Naoto!"

"Ah, it's about time you arrived. Dealing with this child has been quite a pain." 

 _He looks_ way  _too calm right now,_ he thought.  _Tired as hell, too. I mean, o'course, since he's been in here more'n two weeks! But how's he so calm...?_

His gaze moved to Naoto's Shadow, an already tiny figure engulfed in a giant lab coat.

"No! No, no, don't leave!" Tears were streaming down its excruciatingly Naoto-like face, making Kanji feel like he'd gotten punched in the gut. Naoto, meanwhile, looked unfazed.

"It's useless speaking with you. I need to go back now..." He turned to walk towards the group and the door, but the Shadow sobbed out another sentence, its tearful mess quickly increasing into hysterics.

"Why? Why're you leaving me here!? Why am I _always left alone!?_ It's so lonely... _I don't wanna be alone!"_

Naoto turned back to it, a viciously scathing look in his icy blue eyes.

"You wear the same face as me... It's as if you're implying we're one and the same. But the difference between me and you is..."

The Shadow suddenly drew itself up to Naoto's full height, ignoring the remaining tears dripping from its chin. Its voice when it next spoke was cold. Commanding. Powerful.

"Why delude yourself? I am you." Naoto had frozen, his face unreadable. "These childish gestures are no mere affectation... They're the truth. The fools all say it, don't they...? 'You're only a child,' 'Keep out of our business, kid,' and so forth. No matter how many cases you spend hours cogitating over, no matter how many crimes you solve, you're a child in their eyes. It's your brain they're interested in. The grey matter locked up in that skull. As long as they need it, you're an ace detective! But once you're done, it's back to the playpen with you. You haven't the means to deal with society's two-faced nature... You're just a lonely _child_." Naoto winced visibly upon hearing that last word. Abruptly, his Shadow curled back into itself, wrinkling its chin and bawling.

"I wanna be a grown-up... I wanna be a big boy right now... Then they'll see who I am... I... I want a reason for me to stay..."

The detective's face looked strained when he barked, 

"That's enough. I can find my own reason for living..."

The Shadow became assertive once more.

"Hah... I'm telling you that's impossible. You are but a child. How can you change that essential truth?"

Naoto was doing a worse and worse job hiding his anger and fear with every word his Shadow said.

"S-stop it...!"

The shadow sneered.

"At your core, you admire the sort of 'strong' and 'cool' men who populate detective fiction. But in trying to emulate them, you must know that in truth, you're nothing of the sort—you're a child. There's no avoiding first principles... Admit that you're a child, and admit that there's nothing you can do about it. Now then! Our analysis is complete. Let us begin the body alteration procedure. You have no objections, do you... 'Naoto' Shirogane?" By now, there was raw panic in his face, and his voice came out  _shrill._

_"Stop it!"_

"'Naoto'... Such a cool, manly name! But a name doesn't change the truth. It doesn't let you cross the barrier between the sexes. How could you become an ideal man when you were never male to begin with...?"

Kanji froze, dumbfounded.  
  
"H-He's not a guy!?"

Naoto took a breath, momentarily closing his—her?—eyes. He muttered, more to himself than anything,

"I won't throw a tantrum... That accomplishes nothing...!"

His shadow cackled like a fucking _hyena_ and crowed, 

"How often I've heard those words from the adults. 'Throwing a tantrum won't solve anything, Naoto-kun,' and other such bilge! They made you cry, didn't they? Yet here you are, mimicking those same men. What exactly are you trying to justify?"

"What...?"

"It's all right. You needn't suffer anymore. That's why you're undergoing this bodily alteration procedure to begin with. You throw a tantrum, but it fails to change the situation a single bit... I can quite understand the feeling. After all... I am you."

Naoto's high-pitched cry rang through the hall.

"That's not true!!"

Yosuke muttered, "shit," and Chie shouted,

"Don't say it!"

Kanji shook his head, glancing toward his senpai.

"'Sokay... Let the kid spill the whole thing. If not, Naoto's just gonna keep hurtin'..." He grinned and flexed his arm. "We'll just do our job and kick the Shadow's ass, yeah?"

The shadow laughed at him.

"You'll kick my ass, huh? Fine... Go ahead and try, you lizard-brained imbecile!!" It was dumb, but the jibe stung. He readied himself.  _Let's do this, Take-Mi!_

Rise cried out into their ears, 

"Here it comes!"

The thing was  _huge._ It looked like Naoto, but not. Bionic, except not real robot parts. It looked like it had parts from a kid's action figure or something. Its voice thundered throughout the laboratory. 

"I am a Shadow... The true self... What? Are you sick of yourselves too? Very well... Then let's begin the special operation!"

Kanji shouted out.

"Bring it on, man! I'll pull you through this!"

✻✻✻

 _"RRRRUUUAAAAGH!!"_ Kanji yelled at the top of his lungs as Take-Mi dealt the finishing blow to Naoto's creepy-ass bionic-robot-toy-thing of a Shadow. 

Before the Shadow had even totally dissolved, Kanji was running to Naoto's form, prone on the ground where his— _her_ Shadow had been. 

"Naoto! Naoto, y'okay!?"

"Ngh..."He pushed himself up and away from Kanji's supportive arm. "Where am I...?"

Naoto shook his head, confused. 

"I remember you all arriving, and... That's right... You saw everything..." The short boy looked sickened. He stood, walking away from the gaggle of Persona users.

"I lost both my parents in an accident. I was still young, so my grandfather took me in. I was inept at making friends... So I spent my time reading detective novels in my grandfather's study."

The shadow, in its whiny, childish voice, spoke up.

"When I grow up... I'm gonna be an awesome, hard-boiled detective...!"

The real Naoto shook hi— _her_ head, sighing.

"My parents were proud of their job. I had no qualms about following in their footsteps... An inherited occupation can feel stifling to many, but I welcomed it. I yearned for the day I could be a detective myself... Perhaps I inherited that desire from them as well. I was always alone... Seeing that, my grandfather must have believed it was his duty to help me realize my dream. I secretly aided my grandfather with his clients... And before I knew it, people started calling me Junior Detective. At first, I was delighted. But not everything went so smoothly..."

Yukiko spoke up.

"What was that you said about 'You're only a child...?'"

The blunette slowly took off her hat and turned it over and over in her hands.

"Not everyone welcomes my collaboration when it comes to solving cases... My status as a 'child' was sufficient to offend many of those whom I worked with. Were that the only issue, then it would have resolved itself with time... But though I will one day change from a child to an adult, I will never change from a woman to a man..."

"Do you not like being a girl...? Is that why you always dress like a boy?"

"My sex doesn't fit my ideal image of a detective... Besides, the police department is a male-oriented society. If they had the slightest 'concrete' reason to look down on me, no one would need me anymore..."

Kanji couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"You don't know that."

Naoto smiled weakly at Kanji before putting her hat back on.

"I rather think I do, Kanji-san." She turned back to her Shadow. "I'm sorry... I kept ignoring you, pretending you didn't exist. But you are me... And I am you. You've always been inside me. What I should yearn for... No, what I must strive for isn't to become a man. It's to accept myself for who I really am..."

The Shadow dissolved into light, then flashed and was replaced by a smartly dressed little bug man. He saluted Naoto before fading away.

Naoto turned to face the rest of them.

"In any event, you're a devious bunch... I can't believe you kept something like this hidden for so long..." She chuckled softly. "No wonder the perpetrator has eluded the police... But it's apparent now...This case is far from over."

Yosuke grinned and winked at her.

"That's right... And you proved it, Naoto. Anyways, we can talk more later. We need to get you out of here." Naoto nodded, looking quite exhausted.

When they arrived back in the electronics section of Junes, Naoto suddenly fell to her knees, breathing heavily. Kanji was at her side almost immediately. 

"Hey... Hey!"

"Sheesh... She really put her life on the line for this..." Chie murmured softly. Yukiko quietly responded, but Kanji wasn't paying attention. He had his right arm around Naoto's shoulders.

"Yer too frickin' reckless, dammit..."

Naoto threw an arm around him to support herself. Her voice was terrifyingly quiet.

"I never doubted that you'd all come for me... Although the reality turned out to be far beyond what I'd imagined."

Kanji looked away from her and sighed frustratedly.

"Tch...What a dumbass. Yer no genius at all. We were tearin' our hair out over you..."

"So you did worry about her, Kanji!" Rise cooed. "Awww..."

He reflexively tightened his grip around Naoto.

"Shaddup! M-Mind yer own damn business!"

Yukiko laughed affectionately and said,

"I'll take her home. I don't think she can go back by herself.

Naoto shook her head stubbornly, leaning on Kanji more heavily than ever.

"It's all right... I can—"

Rise interrupted her.

"No way, missy! Don't think that doing everything on your own is the 'adult' thing to do! C'mon, let's go. Grab onto Kanji, he'll carry you!"

Naoto hesitated for a good ten seconds before slumping resignedly.

"...very well."

Kanji scooped her up with his left arm and stood, holding her bridal style. She gave a small cough and wrapped her arms around his neck. He coughed three times, but he kept his lips tightly shut so that flowers wouldn't go flying and cause a scene. Rise grinned, although Kanji didn't miss the sympathetic undertone in her voice when she teased, 

"You two okay?"

He used his tongue to push the blossoms into his cheek.

"Shaddup...! Let's jus' get goin'..."

* * *

 **On October the 19th,** Naoto arrived back at school. The first thing that happened when she sat down in the classroom was for her to be crowded by people asking where had he been, had he gotten their get-well card, blah, blah, blah. Naoto looked very unprepared for this, and simply sat at her desk, stuttering.

Kanji stormed over.

"Leave 'er—'im alone! He's been sick, now buzz off!! He's not got enough energy for you! Go on! Shoo!" He waved his arms around a bit and the gathered students rapidly scattered in fear, leaving Naoto and Kanji at her desk. 

"Th-thank you, Tatsumi-kun." Naoto was blushing. She quickly glanced up at him before tucking her cap down over her eyes. He nodded stiffly and walked back to his desk. He didn't trust himself to open his mouth, lest he descend into a hacking fit.

As he sat down, he heard someone on the other side of the room give several tiny coughs.

"Ain't we all..." He muttered darkly, his eyes flickering in the direction of the cougher.

* * *

  **It was the twenty-fifth of October** when Naoto first asked him about his affliction.

"Kanji-san, are you quite alright?" She had a shrewd look on her face. "I notice you coughing quite frequently. Perhaps early symptoms of the flu?"

He shook his head and mumbled something about allergies through a mouthful of flowers.

* * *

 **October 28th**  was the first day Naoto didn't come to school. Rise's nervous text of  _where are u!??? kanji-kun and i are really concerned!!! (✽ ﾟдﾟ ✽)_ received the prompt, curt response,  _CAME DWN W/SMTHNG. N NEED 2 WRRY. WILL B BACK TMRRW._

"Maybe we should bring her the work she missed?" Rise said, wringing her hands. Kanji grunted noncommitally. 

"...yeah, I think we should. I'm gonna drop by the teachers' office, kay? Wait for me out front!" She snatched up her packed bookbag and dashed out. Kanji walked more slowly as he exited the classroom. 

Despite his nonchalant attitude, he really _was_ worried about Naoto. He just wasn't terribly keen on the thought of choking on flowers.

* * *

 **The next day, October 29th,** held in store two things: Naoto returning to school as promised and the first day of the Cultural Festival. 

Naoto looked slightly pale all day, but Rise either didn't notice or refrained from commenting. 

* * *

 **Naoto was tardy on November 1st.** Kanji didn't fail to notice that she seemed to be avoiding him. Whenever he tried asking her about it, she would either make an excuse and run off or skillfully dodge the question with a neat, curt non-response. 

* * *

 **It was November the sixth.** Kanji and Naoto stood alone in the hospital corridor. Everyone else was either in Nanako's or Dojima's room or had gone home.

Naoto sat in a chair, her hat pulled down eve her eyes. Kanji stood with his fist on the wall, his eyes closed. Neither spoke. 

Naoto stayed because she didn't want to go back to an empty apartment. If it came down to it, she really thought she might just curl up in this chair and sleep where she sat. 

Kanji, for his part, felt terrible just leaving her there alone, so he stayed to keep her company. Even though being within five feet of her made his lungs feel like they would burst. 

* * *

  **By November 8th,** he had it  _bad._

"Oh, Kanji... You've got it  _bad,"_ Rise groaned sympathetically, watching her friend hack up bloody flowers into a trashcan. They were in his room, and he _had_ been doing a minor tailoring job on one of her dresses. That is, before he started coughing uncontrollably.

He felt the crawling of another flower coming up his throat, and was forced to cough again. After another four came out, he felt no more and figured he was clear to sit up. Rise spoke again as he furiously glugged water from the glass at his bedside.

"D'you ever think that maybe what kind of flower you're coughing up means something?" Kanji set down the now-empty glass beside the jug on his bedside table. He looked over at Rise to find her peering curiously into the trash. 

"Dunno. Haven't thought about it," he said, looking distastefully down at the blood-smeared clumps of flowers before turning back to his sewing machine. As he started sewing again, Rise pulled out her phone and continued talking.

"'Cause I know that these are mimosa flowers, but... Hang on... 'mimosa... flower... meaning...' And, search. Let's see... Aw, that's actually super accurate! Although I'm sure it's hard to appreciate when you're coughing your throat raw with them, but. Well."

He hummed distractedly. 

"Whad'ya mean?"

"Mimosa flowers can mean 'secret love,' 'bashful love,' or just 'sensitive,' because there's a species of mimosa—I think it's the one you're coughing up—whose leaves fold in on themselves when they're touched."

She paused, and Kanji flipped the dress around to go back over the seam. 

"...I'm gonna go get some water. You want me to grab a couple lozenges?"

"Yeah. Thanks a million, Rise."

"You're very welcome!" She smiled sweetly back at him before closing the door behind her. 

* * *

 **The date was November 19th,** and Kujikawa Rise was walking to school. Kanji and Naoto had each set out alone, leaving her to herself as well. She pouted about this as she trotted through the rain.

Soon enough, however, she was distracted by the distant sounds of hacking and retching. As she quickened her pace, it became apparent that the noise had two distinct sources. As she approached, two forms became visible through the rain.

She couldn't help herself.

She started to laugh uncontrollably.

Kujikawa Rise clung to a trash can for support as she fell into hysterical laughter. The same trash can that the smaller of her two best friends was currently hacking up bunches of bloody white flowers into. 

Naoto, finally done with her coughing fit, frowned reprovingly as she wiped her mouth.

"I apologize, Rise-san, but I fail to see the humor in this situation." 

Rise was at a loss for words. She simply pointed a trembling finger at the trash can up the street, where Kanji was producing delicate purple blossoms in mass quantities.

"J-Jesus christ," she said, wiping her eyes, still giggling hysterically. "What happened, were you two walking to school together and both your Hanahaki got triggered!?"

"That would seem to be the case. The question is, how?"

"H-holy shit, Naoto, you're even denser than Kanji...!"

The detective gave her a flat stare.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Rise-san."

"Figure it out yourself, Ace Detective...!"

Naoto scowled.

"Perhaps I shall."

* * *

 **It was December 24th.** 10:47 on Christmas Eve. Kanji walked home alone. No, that's not right. He wasn't walking home. He just wanted to be alone. He knew that all his friends were spending the evening with the ones they loved; Chie and Yukiko had quietly disappeared together, as had Yu and Yosuke. He had no clue where Rise had gotten off to. Probably holed up in her room crying over having lost Yu to his partner. And Naoto had left to the Shirogane estate to spend Christmas with her grandfather.

He felt full of bitterness. Of course this would be how it ended. The world back to normal, everyone happy and joyful, and him, just him, still alone. Doomed to die by choking on flowers. He had accepted his fate, but that didn't mean he wasn't bitter. 

He wondered if Naoto would ever work up the nerve to confess to whoever she had Hanahaki for. He hoped she would. At least  _she_ didn't deserve to die over something this dumb. She had such a huge, bright future. Not him. He didn't really have much worth living for anymore. 

But, he figured, it wasn't worth the effort or pain offing himself. He was going to die from the Hanahaki anyways; what was the point of doing anything himself when he could just let it happen?

His phone rang. The only two people he had unique ringtones for were Rise and his mother. Whoever was calling was neither. He didn't bother answering. If they really wanted his attention, they'd leave him a voicemail. 

They apparently did.

He sighed, annoyed, and opened his phone. He called the voicemail number and put the handset to his ear.

❝You have one unheard message. First unheard message: _'H-hello, Kanji-san. It's Naoto. I suppose, er, you knew that... *koff* Er... I... Please call back. I have something important to discuss with you._ End of new message. To listen again, press 1. To save, press 9. To delete, press 7. To call back, press 3. For more options, press 0.❞ He stood, at a loss for what to do. ❝Are you still there? To listen again, press—❞ He pressed 1. ❝ _'H-hello, Kanji-san. It's Naoto. I suppose, er, you knew that... *koff* Er... I... Please call back. I have something important to discuss with you._ End of new message. To listen again, press 1. To save, press 9. To delete, press 7. To call back, press 3. For more options, press 0.❞ 

He stood there. And waited. For what, he wasn't sure. But he waited. Until, finally,

❝Are you still there? To liste—❞

"Argh, _FINE!"_

He angrily mashed 3.

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ri—clik._

❝H... Hello.❞

Kanji's mouth felt like a desert.

"Uh... Hey." 

❝I... I apologize for calling so late in the day. I—❞ She coughed five times. ❝—hope I didn't interrupt anything...?❞

"N-no, not really. Don' really have much t'do these days. Not like I have anyone to spend Christmas Eve with." He gave a hollow laugh.

❝...Indeed. Erm, I, ah... I apologize. The topic I called you about is not one I've ever had to discuss with anyone before.❞

"Yeah?"

❝Quite. Er... Excuse me for asking, but who has inflicted Hanahaki upon you?❞

_What?_

"You tell me." He didn't even care about being nice to her anymore. Why'd she have to dig right into the pressure point!?

❝I don't... I apologize. I should... But... I'm sorry. Allow me to start over. I called because I have Hanahaki, and you have Hanahaki, and I am curious if the two are connected.❞

_What!?_

"The hell're you talkin' about? Get to the point for once!"

She seemed to be having more and more difficulty getting her words out.

❝My own—! Kanji-san, please—! Why not tell me?❞

"'Cause the person I'm dyin' for has it for someone else! Now leamme alone!"

❝Kan—❞ He hung up. Dammit. Why'd she have to _needle_ him like that?! 'S like she _knew._ He stormed off. Soon enough, he saw the trail to the overlook and decided that was as good a place as any to spend his Christmas Eve angry, alone, and crying.

Snow began to fall again as he walked. There was already a good six inches on the ground, and this would just add to that. Good. Maybe the thick white blanket could mute his pain. 

He sat down at the unsheltered bench. He stared into the snow, holding his head in his hands. Eventually, hot, bitter tears began to drip from his nose. He heard the crunching of someone else approaching in the snow, but didn't look up. Probably someone else who had been left to spend the night alone. 

The footsteps drew closer, then stopped. He heard the rustle of fabric and crunch of snow as someone sat down beside him on the bench.

He closed his eyes, tears still dripping, and laughed sourly. 

"Sucks gettin' left alone, huh?"

No response.

"Yeah... Girl I love more'n anythin's got Hanahaki, an' it sure as hell ain't for me. Problem is, I got it for her..."

More silence.

"So, what brought you here fer th'Christmas Eve Pity Party, eh? You get rejected?"

He took the lack of a response as a yes.

"Hah... Yeah. Can't believe I ever even tried, personally. I don' deserve 'er at all. She's _brilliant._ 'S Shirogane Naoto. Was one a my best friends. Can' bring myself ta look'er in the eye now. But, man... She's  _amazin'._ Smart, honest, beautiful... Dunno how she never noticed me, with how obvious I been this whole time. I'm a real bad liar. But, well... Ain't got much time left now." His laugh turned into a cough, and several blood-covered flowers fell onto the snow. 

* * *

 **Midnight had come and gone, and it was now 12:08 on Christmas morning.** Kanji had remained there on the bench, spilling his heart and his flowery guts to this stranger on the bench beside him. May as well, he figured. Not much point in keeping it quiet anymore. And who better to tell than someone who didn't care?

He eventually fell silent, angry tears continuing to flood the snowy ground beneath him.

His phone buzzed. Probably his mom wondering where he was. He pulled it out and clicked on the "New Message" notification.

It was from Naoto. 

> SRRY ABT THE CALL EARLIER

> I DON'T KNO HW 2 HNDL THIS KIND OF SITUATN

> I DIDN'T KNOW ABT UR FEELNGS, & HAD NO IDEA HW 2 HNDL MINE

> I'M TRRBLY SRRY ABT ALL OF WHT'S HPPND OVR THE PAST FEW MNTHS

> WHT AN AWFUL MESS I'VE MADE

> I SPPOSE

> EVN THO I DON'T DSRV IT

> IF U EVR GIVE ME A BOUQET

> JST MAKE CRTN IT DSN'T HAVE ANY ACACIAS IN IT

> DEAL?

He looked back over her messages.  _She makes it sound like she knows..._

He felt a small weight on his left side. He looked over. There, looking exhausted, her hat slightly askew, bundled up in her trench coat and gloves and with her phone held loosely in her left hand, was Shirogane Naoto. She'd apparently fallen asleep where she sat, and had leaned against his side.

Hesitantly, he put his arm around her. She blinked and stifled a yawn before looking up at him, eyes still cloudy with sleep. He fully expected her to pull away. On the contrary, she hesitated, then cautiously leaned against him again. 

"I... Apologize," she murmured. 

"What for?"

"For... For giving you Hanahaki. For putting you through all this pain. And... For not telling you my own feelings sooner."

"Your... Feelings...?"

"I..." She seemed to be choking on her words. He knew the feeling well. "I think I..."

Something somewhere in his mind clicked. 

 _"Oh._ Y... Y'sure!? You..."

She buried her face in his jacket and nodded frantically. He was quiet for a bit while he processed everything she'd said.

Suddenly, her full meaning hit him smack in the gut. Kanji threw his other arm around the tiny detective beside him and pulled her close, burying his face in the back of her coat.

"N-Naoto... Y'serious 'bout this...?!" She gave a muffled laugh. It was still as sweet a sound as it ever had been. 

"Of course. What reason would I have to be anything but honest about something such as this? I could never do such a thing!" 

"Dunno... 'S just... It feels like a dream!" His laugh was almost a  _giggle._ He felt giddy. High on the excitement of the news that  _she,_ of all people, liked  _him,_ of all people.

They remained bundled together, keeping each other warm and simply enjoying being close. After a few minutes, though, Naoto mumbled, 

"It is quite late... We should be getting on our ways home."

Kanji pulled away just enough to look down at her face. She looked like she could barely keep her eyes open. He grinned, an idea rising to the surface of his mind. Bundling her up in his arms, he stood, eliciting a surprised squeak from the blunette as she was lifted into the air.

"K-Kanji-kun!"

"Jus' call me Kanji."

"I hardly think this is—!" She huffed indignantly. 

"Ya look like you're barely stayin' awake. Don' mind it, ya barely weigh a thing," he said, beginning to walk down the hill.

Accepting defeat, the small girl wrapped her arms around him, her hands clasped on his back and her chin resting on his shoulder. 

_I always wondered what the view was like from up here..._

Kanji laughed, and she felt the sound vibrate through his chest. 

"I did not intend to say that out loud..."

"Yeah, I know. But ya did," he chuckled. 

She buried her eyes in the shoulder of his coat, but he continued speaking in a lower voice.

"I... Can' say I really mind i', though..."

She blushed further.

She wasn't sure she minded, either.

**Author's Note:**

> Midway through writing the Shadow scene: ARE YOU GUYS RPOUD OF ME I'M STAYING TRUE TO CANON WITH ALL OF NAOTO'S DIALOGUE HERE  
> After writing the Shadow scene: that scene is a lot fucking longer than I remembered it being. Also you cAN'T STOP MY HEADCANONS ABOUT KANJI BEING THE ONE TO CARRY NAOTO HOME AFTER SHE ACCEPTED HER SHADOW  
> Before writing 10/19: im sorry I didn't say anything about him bringing her food while she was recovering but I wanted to mOVE ON so. I'm sorry we don't have any coughing fits those come later when he gets to know her better  
> After writing a very short paragraph about naoto being tardy on 10/31 and doing research to check when some events happened: oh damn I 100% forgot they didn't have school on 10/31 I'll just. Change the date on that to 11/1  
> After writing 11/19: I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAGGAGGAGAGHHAHHAHHA  
> Writing 12/24: damn kanji. I feel bad for u kid. ALSO WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS A SPIDER JUST HECKING. APPEARED ON MY SHIRT IT WAS THE WORST THING IT FREAKED ME OUT  
> Done writing 12/25: cute.


End file.
